My mom always told me that boredom is an attitude and a choice we deliberately make. We choose to feel bored, and then we tend to complain about this idle state.
A few days ago, she revised her perception of boredom, adding that this feeling is necessary for growth. Upon hearing this, I thought of all the times I’ve recently felt bored, empty, and unimaginative. Could there be some relationship between boredom and complacency?
I sit in my comfortable California home and question why I sense boredom. The immediate answers are often correct: this house provides no new information, my neighborhood is awfully quiet, and my routine is the same as it was last week. I call the same friends and eat the same Häagen-Dazs ice cream.
So when this feeling of monotony creeps in, I try my best to see it as a signal. What’s causing the dullness?
After all, our minds can be deceptive. We feel boredom, but there is almost always some underlying message. Change is what’s needed. But what kind of change?
Spread your wings.
Let’s begin by accepting that the same thoughts, routines, and company won’t perpetually satisfy one looking for excitement. You will get used to any fixed circumstance; the highs and lows will become less extreme, and a median of numbness will settle in. This is normal and to be expected of a comfortable life with static attributes.
I’d argue that this is a trap for young people. Youths that have control over their whereabouts should get far from the suburbs and join a city colony.
They should increase the inputs and outputs they have access to and open new doors. They should cut off their reliance on parents or familiar territory and take on new challenges.
All while meeting interesting people and doing cooler things.
You should put yourself in a dynamic environment that trains your body and mind to function intuitively and take greater control over your life. Create less room for laziness and more room for hunger.
Opening up.
By removing elements of comfort and familiarity, one begins to open up and learn new things about themselves and other people.
Living overseas, I realized that I could be anything or anyone; I am an alien to outsiders and an alien to myself. Who is this person I’m becoming, and is he a truer version of my subconscious?
This question transcends the static mind. External changes inevitably spark internal changes and enrich the monologue in your brain.
You are a product of what you consume and experience. Thus, consuming the same sh*t yields recurring thoughts and familiar feelings. How do you expect to beat boredom and become energized if you’re always stuck in one place – one box?
The goal is not to operate under boxes or follow a limiting approach. You must expose yourself to more information and ways of living to then curate a more specific life. With more exposure, you can identify new habits or ideas that could make life more exciting, less monotonous, and more purposeful.
My filter on people and places improved because I was forced to adapt and create a new lifestyle wherever I went. Every temporary home triggers a resurrection of my character. I am new, and my senses are starting from scratch.
Boredom rarely exists in this phase of unfamiliarity and adaptation.
I can curate my life by re-evaluating habits and values upon having new experiences.
Boredom can be avoided by making interesting life decisions that spark inward thinking. Put yourself in a position where you might rethink your worldview or simply have fun in new ways.
To keep things thrilling wherever you go, learn how to ask great questions. Forget small talk; learn how to speak to someone’s core character. This ability is rare and requires a more fearless approach to socializing, yet it makes conversations more fun and less stagnant.
You can be the spark that makes a social gathering light up.
Surface-level interactions will only leave you dry.
Remove bias. Generate original thoughts.
In new circumstances, adopt an unbiased interpretive lens: perceive new information and experiences through your own being without preconceived thoughts. Subtract others from the equation.
Removing bias from our interpretations of the world around us makes life less mundane and less predetermined. It allows you to arrive at your own conclusions after taking the time you need to think critically and freely.
Life is not as interesting or thought-provoking when you let others dictate your actions or tell you what to think. Spend time thinking independently.
Keep things in motion when you’re young.
Find yourself in the grand picture of human discourse; the profound shift you seek will not occur at home base. It will happen along your journey as you dispatch from home.
I didn’t understand the function of San Francisco until I came back from Seoul. By the time I returned to the bay, I had new ways of interpreting the tech scene, bay area slang, and the smell of Marijuana.
You can feel the changes upon returning home.
You have new reference points and memories by which to form an opinion.
Did I ever really like this place? How do my parents live like this?
New questions arise after necessary changes have been made.
Life has several phases, and things will change as you age; Middle-aged individuals like my parents should be fine with comfort and controlling life’s pace. Our definition of boredom doesn’t apply to them – their threshold for boredom is different as they see comfort as calmness.
But when you’re young…get lost and go find yourself. F*ck being calm and seeking comfort.
This is a special moment when boredom is largely a choice and a crucial sign of necessary changes. You shouldn’t feel too good sitting on your ass all day, scrolling through some screen that doesn’t positively shift your reality.
And don’t get too comfortable spending most of your social hours in familiar groups that don’t elevate your perspectives and motivations.
Develop the courage to seek discomfort and create a more stimulating path for yourself. There is so much to do and so little time.
Don’t get stuck.
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What it takes to love yourself.